Monday, January 23, 2017

The story of the mummy pillow

So R sleeps pretty much on my tummy - every. single. night. I have told her multiple times that she can sleep on her pillow. That it gets difficult for me and after sometime I can't roll etc.

She will constantly say - "venam ma, I will sleep on you.. mummy-pillow"
Me - more reasoning
She - "no Amma, vaithla thoongren" no Amma I'll sleep on your tummy.

Yesterday she came up to the bed and announced - "Amma vaithla padukka maten ma, pillow la padukren.." I won't sleep on your tummy ma, I'll sleep on my pillow, in such an matured I-understand-your-plight tone with all those tiny 23 months in her exuding nothing but warmth. She added "enna katti pidi", but u hug me and slept on her pillow and dozed off. I then cried and cried and cried and didn't sleep a wink since. Why is motherhood so devastating - why do I not know what I want? Do I want her to sleep on me or on her pillow. *weeps* then say by 5 am in the morning she woke up and slept on me again. Then I was contented that my little girl was staying little. I sometimes hate things and please add a Monday to it, thank you :( I want to be with her at home right now, I am seeing her videos on my mobile literally waiting for the work-day to get over.....:'( what a mean start to this week :(

Friday, December 30, 2016

The runaway girl

You don't like crowds, a public address is your worst fear, you grit your teeth amidst heavy breath finish that last line of your speech and 'run away', gallop sprint whatever that takes you back to normalcy - Running away to gooey safety?

Your boyfriend of eight years, cinematically belongs to a different caste, you pack your bags and 'run away' to catch that train tickets-less, heavy wrench in your heart as the home draws away as the train chugs and mutters off the station. Running away to a better future?

The clock ticks towards 6pm, the route would get maniacally traffic infested in a few minutes more, you wait wary of that **** beside you whose only purpose of existence is to see if you are there. You run away, when it's not looking, into corridors and lift bays and cemented pavement blocks like an unleashed blood hound, into that cab that's waiting for you!  Running away to pure happiness - drama that happens every single weekday at the desktop. :p

2016 - books read

Jaya - Devdutt Pattanaik
My Gita - Devdutt Pattanaik
The Scarlett letter - Nathaniel Hawthorne
Picture of Dorian Gray - Oscar Wilde
Adultery - Paulo Coelho
50 shades *head desk*
Hornet's flight - Ken Follet
Matarese countdown - Robert Ludlum
Emma - Jane Austen
The Time traveller's wife - Audrey Niffenenger
Art of war - Sun Tzu *eww*
The Beggar maid - Alice Munro